The Aarrgghhhh feeling! Inside & Outside

The mid-week crisis brings along with it, what I call the "Aargghh feeling" when all you want is one huge punching bag...or maybe ears that could just sit beside you and hear all the abuses you have inside you due to that pent up irritable feeling. The day is long inside the office.... but outside, my life is running, its rushing past, the time is just fleeting. Why are the "good young" years so numbered? why can we only live them once? Whyy?.....inside its cold, its busy, its not dreamyy...outside there's a lot i need to achieve still...those challenges are screaming at me, I'm listening but I'm just stuck here inside.

I will push that door open, I have to get hold of that place outside that's just leaving me way behind. Even this chocolate in my hand, seems a bit tasteless today. Inside it's like this...

Outside its rainy, breezyy. Can I go and play, if no one's looking, if no one's asking for me back here inside.

Come away with me!

As I look out of my window, its raining, oh yes those droplets of warmth with a cooling touch, oh yes they are touching down on earth. The breeze that it brings along, gives you pleasure, or sweet pain. It brings back memories of a wondrous childhood, those little boats that we swayed through that thin stream of muddy water. We jumped with joy when the boat reached the end of that stream, as though it hit the target. It's hard to believe now how easily we were convinced and content about things. That boat made us jump, and today even larger successes are in vain. It's the twirl of daily events that we're so curled up within that we just fail to appreciate the nature's offerings.

And rain, its romantic too, smiles, giggles, those conversations too long, it reminds you of all things in the past and maybe those that you fantasise about. In the rains there's melody too and when that tinkles near your ears you can remember that walk you fondly had, which was full of indulgence and yet hesitation.

But alas when i turn to reality, in my land, rains have failed to evoke the emotions above, it's kind of nature's fury which we must live with now. I guess god's losing faith in his earth's soldiers, and he's sending them a strong message- Hey don't mess so much with what I gave you.

So, I'm just looking out of my window and hoping this time, I can lose myself again into the rain; its indulgence, warmth, melody and sweet pain....

Dreamzz!

Dreams, well we all dream don't we..arbit dreams, the colourful ones, the puzzles, the feeling of being trapped, the feeling of being free, the feeling of screaming from a mountain top (Oh yes that's one fantasy!)...But there are some dreams that come a bit too often. Have you ever dreamt about a certain one thing again and again.

I have... I picture this place with a lot of doors, and me a timid victim, trying to choose which one to open or shut behind me rather....I wonder why do I visit this place so often in my dreams. Am I meant to go there someday? Maybe yes, or no, but it gives me the feeling of being confused. It has woken me up more times than one, and then I breathe a sigh of relief as I open my eyes to reality.

Reality?? Ahh what the hell, Dreams mirror reality too....Isn't my life that very place, and the opportunities those very doors..those doors look at me, scream sometimes, and question me a lot of the other times. They lure me, at times I chase them, at times I detest them. But yes I am a victim to them. We all are....We are just fearful creatures, thinking -"Can I know what's behind the door before I open it, and lose myself behind it?"

Dreams make us search for answers, the answers that lie within us, but we've hardly ever acknowledged them..So then do dreams make us question reality? Or does reality make us question dreams? There I'm questioning again....and the answers.....I'l wait....I'l wait till I put my head to pillow tonight...This time I'l try and open one of those doors...and maybe I'l come back here and jott it down!

Days of the Week!

Yup so today I decide to post a blog....not that i'm particularly bored but what the heck..I need to talk. So here goes. We've all spoken about Mondays being boring but what about Thursday's, they lie there nicely protected in the middle of the week and no one catches their attention. They should be held responsible for keeping you away from that much awaited weekend.

I don't particularly hate any day of the week but sometimes even thursday's seem killing man. And then I wonder how did we all get through the past four days. I look at the mortals around me, all pale, with the much the same bored expression, while blogs are helping some of us to get through this day, texting is helping some of the others, and few of them could just moan and groan at best.

The boss has been strolling around office all day, aah man, aren't they bored behind those four iron walls of theirs, turns out they very much are, why else would they be strolling. Occassionaly passing a smile to me, maybe that's because its appraisal season, and that's why I'm returning the smiles with equal eagerness.

Post those wonderous college years, the days of the week somehow gain so much prominence. You notice them, count them, worst still abuse them ;). You plan them, note them down, maybe erase some from your memory...you know the days that went bad. back in college, you didn't care about them so mcuh, maybe that's why my friend they haunt you so much now!

Tomorrow is a Friday, and I'm thinking about how the day would begin, the office would be buzzing again, there are thoughts of lifting that glass of beer (or whatever spirit makes you high!)..there are thoughts of maybe a great dinner, some dancing, wine and candlelight for some and ahh just sound sleep for the others....

Here are some of my other rants... or ahem..poems

Search my friend, search for freedom
But, it's everywhere just look a bit deeper

Look at nature...those rainsdrops are free, for they fall without bind
Those clouds crazy, as they dance around the sky
The wind, its maverick, it's been around town

That happy man, even he is free
He's free from thoughts of pain, pleasure and anxiety
He's free from the devils that egg our mind, that tell us do things a bit unkind

So free yourself, and just let go
Open your mind to thoughts more pure.